No. J2K1188

Guess what? King cake sales are up this year. That's because when our country is recovering from a tragedy like Hurricane Katrina, we show our support for the City of New Orleans by buying more artificially colored sugary, fattening traditional Mardi Gras baked goods than during the average year. Solidarity for New Orleans! Raise your gooey slice in support!

Guess what else? A lot of people make it pretty far into their adult lives before they learn what a king cake is. It's true. You may even be lost at this point in the blurb, like "what the fuss is a king cake?" I was 26 years old when I found out that — along with showing your boobies for cheap, beaded necklaces — it is also a Mardi Gras tradition to eat a hideous gold, green, and purple cake with a small, plastic baby hidden inside it.

It gets weirder.

Finding the plastic baby choking hazard in your piece of king cake is also good luck. And the plastic baby itself is — swallow your bite first — Jesus.

Mardi Gras is not only a great excuse to get drunk, expose yourself, watch a parade, and eat king cake, it is also a religious holy day. It's a day to feast on everything you can get your hands on, before you have to fast for Lent. I think this year I will give up eating Jesus babies in my dessert.