No. J2K176

Imagine this one gracing your mantle, right next to the outdated Sears family portrait. This statue has got just about as much class as a mimosa made with Tang.

The nameless chap (or chick) who sent this one in writes, "Found in Chinese store in Arizona. Answers question: 'What do Jesus, Richard Pryor, and Michael Jackson all have in common?' Their heads have been on fire."

Interesting comment, I suppose. It also leads us to ask another more rhetorical question: When is a statue small enough to be a statuette and which would this be considered? Or is it just crap?

Oh yeah, and one more question: Since when was Jesus known to wield a Snickers bar in His right hand?

Sexy! Must be the nougat. Thanks, oh nameless disciple!

Whoa! Stop the press! And stop the mad influx of e-mails!

It is now official: this J2K3 ain't Jesus after all. It's another J-man entirely. It's St. Jude.

Apparently I was supposed to have known this because Jesus has rules about how He can appear in iconography. Just like you don't feed Gremlins after midnight or get them wet, you evidently cannot picture Jesus wearing the color green or slap a medallion around his neck.

Luckily, the Lord forgives us for our mistakes.